Let me preface this by saying that as parents my husband and I want to raise our children in an environment where they are encouraged to ask questions and where their questions are answered as truthfully as possible. We also hope to raise our kids with healthy body images - everything is named appropriately for their age and the functions are explained in age appropriate terms. As a stay at home mom the majority of the questions are mine to answer and the functions are mine to explain. Here's a sampling, hope you enjoy...
The Penis Dialogues - Part 1
In the attempts to prepare D for the dreaded potty-training phase my husband and I would give him a narrative of what we were doing and why any time he happened to be in the bathroom when we were doing our business. Apparently he was paying attention.
The Penis Dialogues - Part 1
In the attempts to prepare D for the dreaded potty-training phase my husband and I would give him a narrative of what we were doing and why any time he happened to be in the bathroom when we were doing our business. Apparently he was paying attention.
One day D joins me in the bathroom.
"Mommy, why are you sitting down?"
Here we go. "Because girls and mommies have to sit down to go potty. Boys and daddies don't."
D has the inevitable follow up question. "Why?"
"Well, because boys and daddies have penises and girls and mommies do not."
"You don't have a penis?"
"Nope."
His little hand pats my knee, his voice full of compassion. "That's OK, Mommy, you'll get one when you're older."
The Penis Dialogues - Part 2
It's bath time in our household and D is happily splashing away in the tub.
"Mommy, my penis is BIG!"
Biting the inside of my lip to keep from laughing, I take a deep breath and get my mind in gear. It's not like I have the tackle, I just get to use it on occasion. "Sometimes that happens, buddy," I say, hopefully infusing my tone with the right amount of nonchalance. It's a normal biological function, it's no big deal.
"Yup, sometimes that happens." He reiterates.
Knowing that this will not be the only time in his life when he will experience this phenomenon, I decide it might be wise to lay the ground work for future discussions. "Sometimes when you're happy it will get big and sometimes when you're unhappy or scared it will get small."
D nods in agreement. I know that he understands what I'm saying, but not necessarily the concept. Still, I keep going.
"Sometimes when you're really warm it will get big and sometimes when you're really cold it will get small."
D contemplates all of this information for a moment and formulates his reply. "Mommy, I don't want a big penis!"
God, Jesus and Heaven - AKA Jesus is NOT a statue
We attend church on a regular basis and prayer is a fixture in our household. Many parishes in our area have combined recently and as a result we've been members of three different parishes within the last three years. For some reason the depictions of Christ have become more prominent and more graphic in each successive church. This has created all sorts of questions and misconceptions, like the big ones I had to answer and attempt to correct in the car last week.
As we're backing out of the driveway at our friends', Kevin and Maria's house, D repeats a concern that he's had for the day. "I'm worried about Emma."
Emma is the 4 year old daughter of our good friends Tony and Kristy. She had visited our house earlier in the day and D had been "worried" about her ever since she left our house. I repeated the stance I'd taken when he'd first voiced his concerns. "Do you think Uncle Tony and Aunt Kristy would let something bad happen to Emma?"
"No." There's a momentary pause. "I'm still worried about her."
Obviously, at this point, no matter what I say is going to allay his fears, however, I still try. I decide on new tactics. "You know D, when you're worried about your friends, you can say a prayer to Jesus."
"What?"
"You can say a prayer, like: 'Dear Jesus please watch over my friends and keep them happy and safe. Amen.'" Feeling a little proud of my ingenuity I continue, "Mommy and Daddy say prayers for you and G and our family and friends all the time. It's a nice thing to do."
"Mommy, who's Jesus?"
"D! You know who Jesus is."
"He's a statue."
What? "What? No, honey. Jesus is NOT a statue. Jesus was once a boy like you and then he grew up and now he is in Heaven with God."
"No! Jesus is not a guy. He's a statue. And he doesn't live in Heaven he lives at church."
Ah ha. Now I see where the misconception has come from. "The statue at church is of Jesus but it's NOT Jesus. We go to church to hear about Jesus and the good things that he did and that God wants us to do, but Jesus is in Heaven with God." I skip trying to explain that God is everywhere. He's a little too young. I would just be happy if he'd understand that Jesus isn't a statue.
"No! Jesus is a statue!"
Inspiration strikes. "You know that your Elmo doll at home isn't REALLY Elmo, right? He's just a toy. The real Elmo lives on Sesame Street. That's just like the statue of Jesus at church. That's not the real Jesus, the real Jesus lives in Heaven."
"Elmo lives on Sesame Street."
"That's right."
"Jesus lives in Heaven."
Yes! "Yes."
"Yup. He's a statue."
D'Oh!
Here we go. "Because girls and mommies have to sit down to go potty. Boys and daddies don't."
D has the inevitable follow up question. "Why?"
"Well, because boys and daddies have penises and girls and mommies do not."
"You don't have a penis?"
"Nope."
His little hand pats my knee, his voice full of compassion. "That's OK, Mommy, you'll get one when you're older."
The Penis Dialogues - Part 2
It's bath time in our household and D is happily splashing away in the tub.
"Mommy, my penis is BIG!"
Biting the inside of my lip to keep from laughing, I take a deep breath and get my mind in gear. It's not like I have the tackle, I just get to use it on occasion. "Sometimes that happens, buddy," I say, hopefully infusing my tone with the right amount of nonchalance. It's a normal biological function, it's no big deal.
"Yup, sometimes that happens." He reiterates.
Knowing that this will not be the only time in his life when he will experience this phenomenon, I decide it might be wise to lay the ground work for future discussions. "Sometimes when you're happy it will get big and sometimes when you're unhappy or scared it will get small."
D nods in agreement. I know that he understands what I'm saying, but not necessarily the concept. Still, I keep going.
"Sometimes when you're really warm it will get big and sometimes when you're really cold it will get small."
D contemplates all of this information for a moment and formulates his reply. "Mommy, I don't want a big penis!"
God, Jesus and Heaven - AKA Jesus is NOT a statue
We attend church on a regular basis and prayer is a fixture in our household. Many parishes in our area have combined recently and as a result we've been members of three different parishes within the last three years. For some reason the depictions of Christ have become more prominent and more graphic in each successive church. This has created all sorts of questions and misconceptions, like the big ones I had to answer and attempt to correct in the car last week.
As we're backing out of the driveway at our friends', Kevin and Maria's house, D repeats a concern that he's had for the day. "I'm worried about Emma."
Emma is the 4 year old daughter of our good friends Tony and Kristy. She had visited our house earlier in the day and D had been "worried" about her ever since she left our house. I repeated the stance I'd taken when he'd first voiced his concerns. "Do you think Uncle Tony and Aunt Kristy would let something bad happen to Emma?"
"No." There's a momentary pause. "I'm still worried about her."
Obviously, at this point, no matter what I say is going to allay his fears, however, I still try. I decide on new tactics. "You know D, when you're worried about your friends, you can say a prayer to Jesus."
"What?"
"You can say a prayer, like: 'Dear Jesus please watch over my friends and keep them happy and safe. Amen.'" Feeling a little proud of my ingenuity I continue, "Mommy and Daddy say prayers for you and G and our family and friends all the time. It's a nice thing to do."
"Mommy, who's Jesus?"
"D! You know who Jesus is."
"He's a statue."
What? "What? No, honey. Jesus is NOT a statue. Jesus was once a boy like you and then he grew up and now he is in Heaven with God."
"No! Jesus is not a guy. He's a statue. And he doesn't live in Heaven he lives at church."
Ah ha. Now I see where the misconception has come from. "The statue at church is of Jesus but it's NOT Jesus. We go to church to hear about Jesus and the good things that he did and that God wants us to do, but Jesus is in Heaven with God." I skip trying to explain that God is everywhere. He's a little too young. I would just be happy if he'd understand that Jesus isn't a statue.
"No! Jesus is a statue!"
Inspiration strikes. "You know that your Elmo doll at home isn't REALLY Elmo, right? He's just a toy. The real Elmo lives on Sesame Street. That's just like the statue of Jesus at church. That's not the real Jesus, the real Jesus lives in Heaven."
"Elmo lives on Sesame Street."
"That's right."
"Jesus lives in Heaven."
Yes! "Yes."
"Yup. He's a statue."
D'Oh!
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